Naruto Idol
by vampiretrees
Summary: As the final story of the Idol trilogy comes to an end the show plans to go out with a bang! After 13 votes the score will be tallied up and the winner selected.
1. Interviews

Cat: Well alreayd upon the third edition of this show!

Johnny: One of the most critically acclaimed shows in fanfic history!

Cat: We're doing something new this time around. The first chapter we will be interviewing the contestants!

Johnny: So here's our clip montage of what they think about "Naruto Idol"

(camera fuzzes out and then Naruto appears)

Naruto: I should be the "Naruto Idol" because my name's Naruto!

(shifts)

Sakura: OH MY GOD I'M ON TV! HI MOM!

(shifts)

Sasuke: Whatever.

Cat: Stupid Sa-suke.

Sasuke: DON'T CALL ME THAT! (punches camera) (technical difficulties sign appears then disspears)

(shifts)

Ino: WOO HOO DISSIN' SAKURA ON LIVE TV! SAKURA IS A- (attacked by Sakura)

Naruto: GIRL FIGHT!

(shifts)

Rock Lee: Huh? What? Am I supposed to be talking right now?

(shifts)

Kakashi: What! I'm reading... (holds book in front of camera) See?

Johnny: THAT IS NOT G-RATED!

(shifts)

Gaara: (killing some random person)

Johnny: (poking the blood)

Gaara: Whaaaa?

Cat: This is also not G-rated!

(shifts)

Temari: Do I even have a song yet?

Cat: Nope.

Temari: (swearing)

(shifts)

Gai: I have mastered the art of Sexy no Jutsu! See! (making hand signs)

Everyone (including Gaara, Kakashi and Neji): (screaming and running)

Johnny: THINK OF THE G-RATING!

(shifts)

Neji: Where's my song!

Johnny: YOU WILL GET ONE EVENTUALLY!

(shifts)

Kankuro: Ha ha I got a song before you!

Neji and Temari: (killing him)

(shifts)

Haku: I also got a song before you.

Neji and Temari: (attempting to kill)

Haku: HAHA I'M ALREADY DEAD!

(shifts)

Chouji: (eating something)

The camera drops to the drop and we see a sideways image of Cat fighting Chouji for the food.

(shifts)

Kiba: (turned away form the camera) (to Akamaru) Who's a good doggy? Who's a good doggy! You are! You are! Don't you look pretty in your little bows and-

Akamaru: (barks)

Kiba: (turns around) Oh snap-

(shifts)

Orichimaru: Soon Sasuke will be mine! MUAHAHAHAHA! I have hidden a bag of chips with mind control devices in them!

Cat and Chouji: (stop fighting and eating at the same time to relize they are holding a bag of chips) Oh snap. 0.o

(shifts)

Cat: Fortunatly for Chouji and I, the chips did not work. Or did they? (evil laughter)

Johnny: Next chapter! A real song! 


	2. Contestant 1, Naruto

Johnny: And now we move unto the actual songs!'

Cat: And now, before he wets himself with excitment-

Johnny: Naruto singing "Pokemon"

Naruto: I sing now right?

Cat: (facepalm) Yes.

Naruto: I wanna be the very best

Hokage there ever was

To fight them is my real test

My training is my cause

I will travel across the land

Fighting far and wide

For eahc ninja to understand

the power that's inside

Ninja-mon! It's you and me

I know it's my destiny,

Ninja-mon! Oh you're my best friend

in a world we must defend

Ninja-mon! a heart so true

Our courage will pull us through,

You teach me and I'll teach you,

Ninjas! gotta fight 'em all

Every challenge along the way

with courage I will face.

I will battle every day

to claim my rightful place.

Come with me,

the time is right,

there's no better team.

Arm in arm in arm we'll win the fight!

It's always been our dream!

NINJA-MON!

Johnny: Now see? Was it so hard to wait a few chapters?

Naruto: Yes.

Cat: Wow, short chapter. 


	3. contestant 2, Ino

Cat: Wow, 7 reviews for just 2 chapters... Tell all j00r friend yo!

Johnny: At least the ads are less now...

Cat: Yep, I'm bieng good! NOW GIVE ME MY COOKIES BACK!

Johnny: Chase Young stole them.

Cat: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-wrong fanfic-OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Johnny: Well before Cat learn that I also stole her secret stash of pringles let's move unto our next con-

Cat: YOU STOLE MY CHIPS!

Johnny: -testant Ino singing "I'm a Barbie Girl"

Sasuke-doll (SD) : Hi, Barbie!

Ino: Hi, Ken!

SD: You wanna go for a ride?

Ino: Sure, Ken!

SD: Jump in!

Ino: I'm a Barbie girl in a ninja world

Everything's plastic, it's fantastic

You can brush my hair, I throw shurikens everywhere

Imagination, ninja art creations!

SD: Come on Barbie, let's go party!

Ino: I'm a Barbie girl in a ninja world

Everything's plastic, it's fantastic

You can brush my hair, I throw shurikens everywhere

Imagination, ninja art creations!

Ino: I'm a blond girl in a fantasy world

Dress me up, make me fight, I'm your ninja

You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamouring and pain

Kiss me here, fight over there

Ino: I'm a Barbie girl in a ninja world

Everything's plastic, it's fantastic

You can brush my hair, I throw shurikens everywhere

Imagination, ninja art creations!

SD: Come on Barbie, let's go party!

Ino: Ah ah ah yeah

SD: Come on Barbie, let's go party!

Ino: Ooh wow, ooh wow

SD: Come on Barbie, let's go party!

Ino: Ah ah ah yeah

SD: Come on Barbie, let's go party!

Ino: Ooh wow, ooh wow

Ino: I me walk, I me talk, I do whatever I please

I can act like a star, I can beat a bag of cheese

Come jump in, be my friend, let us do it again

Hit the town, fool around, let's go party

SD: Come on Barbie, let's go party!

Ino: Ah ah ah yeah

SD: Come on Barbie, let's go party!

Ino: Ooh wow, ooh wow

SD: Come on Barbie, let's go party!

Ino: Ah ah ah yeah

SD: Come on Barbie, let's go party!

Ino: Ooh wow, ooh wow

Ino: I'm a Barbie girl in a ninja world

Everything's plastic, it's fantastic

You can brush my hair, I throw shurikens everywhere

Imagination, ninja art creations!

Ino: I'm a Barbie girl in a ninja world

Everything's plastic, it's fantastic

You can brush my hair, I throw shurikens everywhere

Imagination, ninja art creations!

SD: Come on Barbie, let's go party!

Ino: Ah ah ah yeah

SD: Come on Barbie, let's go party!

Ino: Ooh wow, ooh wow

SD: Come on Barbie, let's go party!

Ino: Ah ah ah yeah

SD: Come on Barbie, let's go party!

Ino: Ooh wow, ooh wow

Ino: Oh, I'm having so much fun!

SD: Well Barbie, we're just gettin' started

Ino: Oh, I love you Ken!

Cat: I DEMAND CHIP RETRIBUTION!

Johnny: No.

Cat: Fine. (stealing chips from Chouji)

Chouji: (smacks Cat's hand)

Cat: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'M HUNGRY! 


	4. Contestant 3, Temari

Johnny: Well. I gave Cat her chips back. She took my matches. (twitches a little) I need my matches. (hugging matches) 

Cat: Mmm... chippy. Also, because Temari was one of the last to get a song, she gets to sing 3rd.

Temari: Why third?

Cat: I needed time to find a song.

Neji: And me?

Cat: Yeah you got one but I think you're a jerk so you have to wait.

Neji: (strangling)

Cat: (laughing at Neji, while being strangled)

Johnny: Temari, go. This could take a while.

Temari: Miss independent

Miss self-sufficient

Miss keep your distance

Miss unafraid

Miss out of my way

Miss don't let a man interfere, no

Miss on her own

Miss almost grown

Miss never let a man help her off her throne

So, by keeping her heart protected

She'll never, ever feel rejected

Little miss apprehensive

Never fall in love

There isn't a feeling taking over

Letting no one could open the door

Surprise, it's time, to feel what's real

No longer need to be defensive, Let's go on the offensive

Same old you, because love, ain't true

Misguided heart

Miss play it smart

Miss if you wanna use that line, you better not start, no

But she miscalculated

She didn't wanna end up jaded

And this miss decided to miss out on dumb love

So, unchanging unmisconception

She went in the same direction

Her fan keep deflectin'

She beat the girl

There isn't a feeling taking over

Letting no one could open the door

Surprise, it's time, to feel what's real

No longer need to be defensive, Let's go on the offensive

Same old you, because love, ain't true

When miss independent walked away

No time for love that came her way

She looked in the mirror and thought today

What happened to miss no longer afraid?

It took no time for her to see

That love would be the end of thee

Maybe she doesn't want to say that's "Me"

Maybe she just deosn't like that scene

There isn't a feeling taking over

Letting no one could open the door

Surprise, it's time, to feel what's real

No longer need to be defensive, Let's go on the offensive

Same old you, because love, ain't true

Miss independent

Neji: (somehow is knocked unconcious on the floor)

Cat: (laughing at him)

Temari: How'd she do that?

Johnny: I stopped watching her for a few seconds... I have no idea...


	5. Contestant 4, Gaara

Cat: Well we're getting all the Sand ninjas in one big block apparently.

Johnny: And you even chnaged one

Cat: Woo!

Johnny: And so here's Gaara singing "Haha You're Dead"

Gaara: I never get my sleep at night.

Tying togther Kankurou's shoelaces tight.

Like chewing on tinfoil, it's so much fun

Gonna be dead before you're gone

'Cause look how things have gotten

And I'll be happy so I won't pretend

And I'll be cheering that you're going down

And I'll be laughing, I'll be laughing

I have feelings of pure steel

My siblings as annoying as a pig's squeal

Having siblings and a sensei is such a pain

Like chewing on tinfoil once again

Ha Ha you're dead

And I'm so happy

In loving memory

Of your demise

When your ship is going down

I'll go out and paint the town

Ha Ha you're dead

Ha Ha you're dead

Ha Ha you're dead

Ha Ha you're dead

The joke is over

You were an asshole

And now you're gone

As your ship is going down

I'll stand by and watch you drown

Ha Ha you're dead

You're gonna be dead

Just remember what I said

Ha Ha you're dead

Ha Ha you're dead

Ha Ha you're dead

Johnny: GREEN DAY! YAY!

Cat: You made a ryhme!

Johnny: Yay me! 


	6. Contestant 5, Kankurou

Johnny; Sorry if the songs come in sort sporadic bursts. Cat has discovered the magic of YouTube.

Cat: (drooling) All. 202. Naruto. Episodes.

Johnny: She's still working though.

Cat: (falls over, asleep)

Johnny: (pokes with pointy stick)

Cat: YIPE! OWWIES! (eats stick)

Johnny: MAH STICK!

Cat: And before this defeats the G-rating here's Kankuro singing "Master of Puppets"

Kankuro: End of passion play, crumbling away

I'm your source of self-destruction

Veinless puppets near, bringing out your fear

Leading on your deaths' construction

I am strong as you can see

More is all you need

I'm dedicated to

How I'm killing you

Come crawling faster

Obey your master

Your life burns faster

Obey your master

Master

Master of puppets I'm pulling your strings

Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams

Blinded by me, you can't see a thing

Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream

Master

Master

Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream

Master

Master

Needlework the way, never you betray

Life of death becoming clearer

Fight my puppets all the way

Your death coming ever nearer

I am strong as you can see

More is all you need

I'm dedicated to

How I'm killing you

Come crawling faster

Obey your master

Your life burns faster

Obey your master

Master

Master of puppets I'm pulling your strings

Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams

Blinded by me, you can't see a thing

Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream

Master

Master

Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream

Master

Master

Master, master, where's the dreams that I've been after?

Master, master, you promised only lies

Laughter, laughter, all I hear or see is laughter

Laughter, laughter, laughing at my cries

I never grow tired of my old ways

Just a rhyme without a reason

Neverending maze, drift on numbered days

Now your life is out of season

I will occupy

I will help you die

I will run through you

Now I rule you too

Come crawling faster

Obey your master

Your life burns faster

Obey your master

Master

Master of puppets I'm pulling your strings

Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams

Blinded by me, you can't see a thing

Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream

Master

Master

Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream

Master

Master

Johnny: (sighs) Once again a barely edited song...

Cat: Hey! I;m tired! I've been watching YouTube for a very long time now...

Johnny: Next time- BETTER EDITED SONG! OR SOME SHORT PERSON WITH BROWN HAIR WILL PAY! 


	7. Contestant 6, Haku

Cat: WOO! Better edited song! 

Johnny: Yes, Cat finally puts some work into this.

Cat: Work is play, play is work, it's all the same to me!

Johnny: What about math?

Cat: (glares)

Johnny: Well without further ado, here's is Haku singing "Time After Time"

Cat: He's dead:D

Haku: Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,

and think of you

My best friend all the way through--

It's nothing new

Flashback--I miss you--

I had left behind

Just for a little time

time after--

Sometimes you picture me--

Our death's not far ahead

If you call out to me, I can hear

What you've said--

Then you say--go slow--

I fall behind--

the second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look--and you will find me

Time after time

If you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting

Time after time

After my picture fades and darkness has

turned to gray

Watching through windows--you're wondering

If I'm OK

Secrets stolen from deep inside

When I took my breathe the last time--

If you're lost you can look--and you will find me

Time after time

If you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting

Time after time

You said go slow--

I fall behind

The second hand unwinds--

If you're lost you can look--and you will find me

Time after time

If you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting

Time after time

...time after time

time after time

time after time

time after time

Johnny: A wonderful song by a dead guy!

Cat: DAMMIT! IT'S STUCK IN MY HEAD NOW!

Johnny: Yes, Cat, for you life sucks.

Cat: T.T


	8. Contestant 7, Chouji

Cat: Sorry have not posted in while, fanfiction was down for me and then I wanted a little break.

Johnny: All computers hate her.

Cat: Yeah that's probably it. But I finished my super messed up family tree!

Johnny: Tangent.

Cat: Sorry!

Johnny: And now jumping off the tangent-

Cat: WIMATONAI!

Johnny: CAT SHUT UP! The next singer is Chouji sining "Fame"

Chouji: I am so hungry

And there's no food I can see

I still havn't found food yet

I wish I never took this stupid bet

I got more then you

Because food isn't free

I can go on a 5 hour eating spree

Don't you know who I am

Remember my name

Food!

I'm gonna eat forever

I'll never be able to fly

The food gets better and better

I'll eat until I die

I'm gonna make it to heaven

Light up the sky like a flame

I'm gonna eat forever

Remember my name

Soon I'll return

Too much is not enough

I can eat until my heart breaks

Oh I got what it takes

Food!

I'm gonna eat forever

I'll never be able to fly

The food gets better and better

I'll eat until I die

I'm gonna make it to heaven

Light up the sky like a flame

I'm gonna eat forever

Remember my name

Food!

I'm gonna make it to heaven

Light up the sky like a flame

I'm gonna eat forever

Remember my name

Food!

I'm gonna eat forever

I'll never be able to fly

The food gets better and better

I'll eat until I die

I'm gonna make it to heaven

Light up the sky like a flame

I'm gonna eat forever

Remember my name

Johnny: Why do we get all the weirdos on here?

Cat: Because the all-knowing Cat says so.

Johnny: ...

Cat: And now I'm hungry...

Johnny: Since when are you not?

Cat: ... I dunno. (eating another bag of Orochimaru's mind control chips)

Chouji: (attacking Cat for the chips)

Orochimaru: T.T 


	9. Contestant 8, Sakura

Cat: Yeah on a roll! Mad ninja skillz.

Johnny: Yeah you're rolliung the costumers right out.

Cat: SILENCE!

Johnny: It's golden. And duct tape is silver.

Cat: Anyway here's Sakura singing "I Want it That Way"

Sakura: Yeah

You are my fire

My hearts desire

Believe when I say

I want you, Sasuke

But we are two worlds apart

Can't reach to your heart

That's why I say

That I want you, Sasuke

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a heartache

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a mistake

Tell me why

I always wanna hear you say

That's you love me, Sasuke

I know you breathe fire

I wanna be your hearts desire

Yes I know it's too late

But I want you, Sasuke

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a heartache

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a mistake

Tell me why

I always wanna hear you say

That you love me, Sasuke

Now I can see that you're falling apart

Orochimaru's curse tearing up your heart

No matter the distance

I want you to know

That deep down inside of me...

You are my fire

The one desire

You are

You are, you are, you are

I wanna hear you say

That I don't cause you headaches

That our team's not a mistake

I always wanna hear you say

That you love me, Sasuke

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a heartache

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a mistake

Tell me why

I always wanna hear you say

That you love me, Sasuke

That you love me, Sasuke

Cat: Woo! I think this is the first love song!

Chouji: But mine-

Cat: Love of food does not count. 


	10. Contestant 9, Orochimaru

Cat: Yay I have no opening line!

Johnny: Dib go boom?

Cat: Wrong fan line but I'll take it!

Johnny: Yay!

Cat: And to take a flying leap off our tangent here's Orochimaru singing "Hair"

Orochimaru: Kabu asks me why

I'm just a hairy guy

I'm hairy noon and night

Hair that's a fright

My hair hangs dark and low

Don't ask me why

Don't know

It's not like I'm a freak

Like the Grateful Dead

Gimme head with hair

Long beautiful hair

Shining, gleaming,

Streaming, flaxen, waxen

Give me down to there hair

Shoulder length or longer

Here baby, there mama

Everywhere daddy daddy

Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair

Flow it, show it

Long as I can grow it

My hair

Let it fly in the breeze

And demoslish the trees

Kill all the fleas in my hair

No home for fleas

No hive for bees

No nest for birds

There ain't no words

For the beauty, the splendor, the wonder

Of my...

Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair

Flow it, show it

Long as I can grow it

My hair

I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy

Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty

Oily, greasy, fleecy

Shining, gleaming, streaming

Flaxen, waxen

Knotted, polka-dotted

Twisted, beaded, braided

Powdered, flowered, and confettied

Bangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied!

Oh say can you see

My eyes if you can

Then my hair's too short

Down to here

Down to there

Down to where

It stops by itself

I'll rule the world some day

So I just have to say

I love my long black

Brilliantined

Evil, evil hair

Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair

Flow it, show it

Long as I can grow it

My hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair

Flow it, show it

Long as I can grow it

My hair

Johnny: I'm surrounded by the strange.

Cat: That's just how life is.

Johnny: ...The cleaning fluuids are back aren't they?

Cat: YEP!

Johnny: (sighs) 


	11. Contestant 10, Kabuto

Cat: Yay lack of opening sentances!

Johnny: So here's a catfight that was supposed to be at the end of the last chapter!

Ino: SASUKE IS MINE! (attacks Sakura)

Sakura: (bites arm)

Cat: THINK OF THE G-RATING!

Johnny: So to save Cat's beloved G-rating let's move unto Kabuto singing "Cold Hearted Snake"

Kabuto: He's a cold-hearted snake

Look into his eyes

Oh ohhh

He's been tellin' lies

He's an evil boy at during the day

He'll make Konoha pay

Oh oh

But Konoha ain't the fool--no

He doens't have any pathetic love

Not even a tiny bit

And if you turn your back and then he's off

and runnin' with the crowd

You're the one to sacrifice

Anything to please him

Do you really think he thinks about you

when he's out?

He's a cold-hearted snake

Look into his eyes

Oh ohhh

He's been tellin' lies

He's an evil boy at during the day

He'll make Konoha pay

Oh oh

But Konoha ain't the fool--no

It was only late last night

He was out there sneakin'

Checking for new ninjas to make his own

Hates the phone

He burns down candy stores

If you talk him, he'll ignore

When it comes to true evil with him

No one can win

He's a cold-hearted snake

Look into his eyes

Oh ohhh

He's been tellin' lies

He's an evil boy at during the day

He'll make Konoha pay

Oh oh

But Konoha ain't the fool--no

You can't find somebody better girl

He's so evil he could make your hair curl

You don't deserve him girl

He's c-cold as ice

He's a cold-hearted snake

Look into his eyes

Oh ohhh

He's been tellin' lies

He's an evil boy at during the day

He'll make Konoha pay

Oh oh

But Konoha ain't the fool--no

He's a cold-hearted snake

Look into his eyes

Oh ohhh

He's been tellin' lies

He's an evil boy at during the day

He'll make Konoha pay

Oh oh

But Konoha ain't the fool--no

C-c-c-c-cold hearted snake

C-c-c-c-cold hearted snake

C-c-c-c-cold hearted snake

Cat: Snakes make Cat think of Crocodile hunter.

Johnny: May he wrestle crocs in the after life.

(Playing in the backgourd- Memories)

(various picture of the Crocodile Hunter appear in background)

Cat: And now it's commercial time!

Announcer: Is your ninja love life unsatisfactory? Never had a girlfriend or boyfriend?

Random ninjas: Yeah.

Announcer: THEN NINJA MATCH-UP IS THE PLACE FOR YOU! Here are some REAL comments from REAL costumers.

Orochimaru: I found the perfect person for me! Her name's Medusa!

Medusa: LEGGO OF MY ARM! YOU'RE OOOOOOLD! LEGGO!

Jiraiya: This service is truly the best! I joined under 2 different account names!

Ino and Sakura: (screaming. very loudly.)

Sasuke: Help. Me. (inside of the dark room he is in the glowing eyes of his fangirls shine thruoght he dark)

Naruto: I got Hinata. I don't think she likes me like that though.

Hinata: (hugging) (blushing)

Tsunade: I will kill the creator of this site. I CAN'T GET HIM AWAY!!!

Gai-Sensei: (hugging Tsunade's arm)

Chouji: I got a bag of chips from there!

Kankurou: I got Pinocchio. And then I killed one of the matchmakers.

Rocky: For no apparent reason I got Itachi. Then I killed the matchmaker. AND DON'T CALL ME ROCKY!

Kiba: I got a pen cap... I don't know why there was a pen cap there but there was...

Akamaru: Bark bark! (surrounded by beautiful ladies)

Other boys who got ripped off: (yelling and looking like they are going to hurt Akamaru)

Announcer: So to get your love life back on track join Ninja Match-up today!

And now a word form the author! Yay me!

I have heard that the people require Hinata she will be on here ASAP! Because she's one of the few girls on there who doesn't bug me!

Also I would like to say that I do not support OrochimaruXMedusa, JiraiyaXSakura, JiraiyaXIno, TsunadeXGai-sensei, KankurouXPinochio, and RockyXItachi.

I do however support SasukeXScary-fangirls, HinataXNaruto, ChoujiXBag of chips, and KibaXPen cap. 


	12. Contestant 11, Rock Lee

Cat: Woo! Another reader! (does little dance)

Johnny: Mr. Bones would read it if he had his head.

Cat: Heh heh. When's Mr. Hanes gonna put him back together?

Johnny: Probably never.

Cat: Tangent.

Johnny: So here's the next singer, Rock Lee-

Cat: Rocky.

Rocky: DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!

Johnny: -Singing "When a Man Loves a Woman"

Rocky: When a man loves a woman

Can't keep his mind on nothing else

He'll trade the world

For the good thing he's found

Her short pink hair

She can do no wrong

He want to be her best friend

And never let her down

When a man loves a woman

Spend his very last dime

Tryin' to hold on to what he needs

He'd give up all his comfort

Sleep out in the rain

If she said that's the way it ought to be

Well, this man loves a woman

I gave you everything I had

Tryin' to hold on to your precious love

Baby, please don't treat me bad

When a man loves a woman

Down deep in his soul

She can bring him such misery

If she plays him for a fool

He's the last one to know

Lovin' eyes can't ever see

When a man loves a woman

He can do no wrong

He can never own some other girl

Yes when a man loves a woman

I know exactly how he feels

'Cause baby, baby, baby, you're my world

When a man loves a woman...

AND STOP CALLING ME ROCKY IN THE SIDE THING!

Cat: NEVER!

Johnny: You have problems Cat.

---

Wheee! Author's nooooote!

Cat: In explaination of why Rock Lee is refered to as "Rocky" in here. You see I have a rare diesease called Needs-turn-all-names-into-nicknames-that-end-in-Y Disorder. And unfortunatly that is impossible with most names in japanese comics. T.T 


	13. Contestant 12, Gaisensei

Cat: Hello my dedicated fans! And welcome the another chapter of-

Johnny: You still stink at nitros.

Cat: (sniff) Be quiet.

Johnny: So here's the pathetic little song that seems to make an appearance in most parody fan fics-

Cat: Gai-sensei singing "I'm too Sexy for my Shirt"

Gai-sensei: Im too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love

Loves going to leave me

Im too sexy for my vest too sexy for my shirt

So sexy it hurts

And Im too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan

New York and Japan

And Im too sexy for your party

Too sexy for your party

The way I'm disco dancing

I'm a model, you know what I mean

And I do my little turn on the catwalk

Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah

I do my little turn on the catwalk

Im too sexy for my genin too sexy for my genin

Neji: MY EYES BUUUUUUURN!

Tenten: GAH! PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON!

Rocky: MY EYES!

Too sexy by far

And Im too sexy for my hat

Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that

Im a model you know what I mean

And I do my little turn on the catwalk

Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah

I shake my little touche on the catwalk

Im too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my

Cos Im a model you know what I mean

And I do taijutsu on the catwalk

Yeah on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk yeah

I do taijutsu on the catwalk

Im too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat

Poor kitty poor kitty cat

Cat: Ewwwwwww... Stay far away from me!

I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love

Loves going to leave me

And I'm too sexy for this song (walks off stage)

Johnny: My ears. Burn. Really bad.

Cat: Yep. And who wants to bet that this is gonna be the winner?

Kiba: I bet the white-out that cheated on my pen cap that he loses.

Chouji: A bag of chips that he loses.

Kakashi: If he wins I'll show my face.

Everyone: (gasp)

Sasuke: If he loses I'll stop being a jerk.

Everyone: (gaspitygaspiness)

Gai-sensei: If I win I'll put my shirt back on!

Rocky, Tenten, and Neji: JUST DO THAT RIGHT NOW BEFORE WE CALL THE COPS!

And so come the conclusion of the betting... Who shall win? 


	14. Contestant 13, Kakashi

Johnny: sorry for the misconcpetion- CAT QUIT MAKING ME USE YOUR BIG WORDS!- the fic is still going strong and may hit the big two zero.

Cat: And our next singer is Kakashi. JUMP FOR HIM FANGIRLS! JUMP!

Johnny: CAT! Quit torturing the fangirls!

Cat: Awww...

Johnny: So Cat said, here is Kakashi singing "Eye of the Tiger"

Kakashi: Risin' up, back on the street

Did my time, took my chances

Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet

Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happens too fast

You change your passion for glory

Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past

You must fight just to keep them alive

It's the eye of the sharingan, it's the thrill of the fight

Risin' up to the challenge of our rival

And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night

And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the sharingan

Face to face, out in the heat

Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry

They stack the odds 'til we take to the street

For we kill with the skill to survive

It's the eye of the sharingan, it's the thrill of the fight

Risin' up to the challenge of our rival

And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night

And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the sharingan

Risin' up, straight to the top

Have the guts, got the glory

Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop

Just a man and his will to survive

It's the eye of the sharingan, it's the thrill of the fight

Risin' up to the challenge of our rival

And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night

And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the sharingan

The eye of the sharingan...

The eye of the sharingan...

The eye of the sharingan...

Cat: Can I annoy the fangirls now?

Johnny: No.

Cat: Please?

Johnny: No.

Cat: Please.

Johnny: N- Can I set Terra on fire?

Cat: Yes.

Johnny: YOU CAN! (goes, grabs matches and leaves)

Cat: WOO! 


	15. Contestant 14, Hinata

Cat: Yay I gave Hinata a song!

Johnny: Finally.

Neji: And me?

Cat: Still working on it.

Neji: (strangling)

Johnny: So here is Hinata singing "Dancing Queen"

In the background images of Neji looking like he's dancing play.

Hinata: You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life

See that guy, watch, it's obscene, dig in the dancing king

Friday night and the lights are low

Looking out for the place to go

Where they play the right music, getting in the swing

You come in to look for a king

Anybody could be that guy

Neji is young and the people are high

With a bit of rock music, everything is fine

You're in the mood for a dance

And when you get the chance...

He is the dancing king, named Neji, only thirteen

Dancing king, I might go eat a tangerine

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life

See that guy, watch, it's obscene, dig in the dancing king

You're a teaser, you turn 'em on

Leave them burning and then you're gone

Looking out for another, anyone will do

You're in the mood for a dance

And when you get the chance...

He is the dancing king, named Neji, only thirteen

Dancing king, I might go eat a tangerine

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life

See that guy, watch, it's obscene, dig in the dancing king

Neji: HINATA I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

Hinata: (running away laughing) (Yeah she has unusually high bravery there...)

Cat: GIRL FIGHT!

Neji: (strangling Hinata and Cat at the same time)

Hinata and Cat: (cracking up) 


	16. Contestant 15, Jiraiya

Johnny: And next: a random perverted hermit!

Jiraiya: I AM NOT RANDOM I PLAY AN IMPORTANT PART IN THE STORY LINE!

Cat: Sure ya do. Sing the song and leave.

Johnny: So here is Jiraiya singing "Mambo No. 5"

Jiraiya: Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mambo No 5

One, two , three four, five

everybody in the car so come on let's ride

To the liquour-store around the corner,

the boys say they want some gin and juice

but I really don't wanna

beerbust like I had last week

I must stay deep 'cause talk is a cheap

I like Kin, Yuhi, Shizune and Deidara

and as I continue you know they're gettin' sweeter

so what can I do I really beg you my Lord

to me flirtin' it's just like a sport

anything fly it's all good let me dump it

please set in the trumpet

a little bit of Sakura in my life

a little bit of Ino by my side

a little bit of Anko is all I need

a little bit of Tenten is what I see

a little bit of Temari in the sun

a little bit of Tsunade all night long

a little bit of Hinata here I am

a little bit of you makes me your man

jump up and down and move it all around

shake your head to the sound put your hands an the ground

take one step left and one step right

one to the front and one to the side

clap your hands once and clap your hands twice

and if it looks like this then you doin' it right

a little bit of Sakura in my life

a little bit of Ino by my side

a little bit of Anko is all I need

a little bit of Tenten is what I see

a little bit of Temari in the sun

a little bit of Tsunade all night long

a little bit of Hinata here I am

a little bit of you makes me your man

Trumpet, the Trumpet!

Mambo No 5

a little bit of Sakura in my life

a little bit of Ino by my side

a little bit of Anko is all I need

a little bit of Tenten is what I see

a little bit of Temari in the sun

a little bit of Tsunade all night long

a little bit of Hinata here I am

a little bit of you makes me your man

I do all to fall in love with a girl like you

You can't run and you can't hide you and me gonna touch the sky

Johnny: Cat can I-

Cat: Go nuts.

Johnny: DINO-SAWWWWW! (chasing Jiraiya) (accompanied by Sakura, Ino, Anko, Tenten, Temari, Tsunade, and Hinata)

Cat: Any bets on Jiraiya's survival?

Sasuke: I'll shave my head if he survives.

Everyone: (gaspitygaspiness!)

Cat: I wanna see that. Really bad.

The girls: (pwn Jiraiya)

Cat: (poke with sitck) HE'S BREATHING! IT'S HEAD-SHAVING TIME!

Sasuke: (screams like a girl and runs away) 


	17. Contestant 16, Nine Tailed Fox

Cat: Finally something inhuman comes on here and sings!

Johnny: Do you just sit aruond and wait for that?

Cat: Yes.

Johnny: Before Cat says anything else scary-

Cat: DEMON WEASEL!

Johnny: Before she says ANOTHER weird thing here is the Nine-tailed Fox singing "Sad but True"

NTF: Hey

I'm your life

I'm the one who takes you there

hey

I'm your life

I'm the one who cares

they

the'll betray

I'm your only true friend now

they

they'll betray

I'm forever there

I'm your dream, make you real

I'm your eyes when you must steal

I'm your pain when you can't feel

sad but true

I'm your dream, mind astray

I'm your eyes while you're away

I'm your pain while you repay

you know it's sad but true

sad but true

you

you're my mask

you're my cover, my shelter

you

you're my mask

you're the one who's blamed

do

do my work

do my dirty work, scapegoat

do

do my deeds

for you're the one who's shamed

I'm your dream, make you real

I'm your eyes when you must steal

I'm your pain when you can't feel

sad but true

I'm your dream, mind astray

I'm your eyes while you're away

I'm your pain while you repay

you know it's sad but true

so sad but ture

hate

I'm your hate

I'm your hate when you want love

pay

pay the price

pay, for nothing's fair

hey

I'm your life

I'm the one who took you here

hey

I'm your life

and I no longer care

I'm your dream, make you real

I'm your eyes when you must steal

I'm your pain when you can't feel

sad but true

I'm your truth, telling lies

I'm your reasoned alibis

I'm inside open your eyes

I'm you

sad but true

Johnny: Unedited.

Cat: (in the dark, with light flashing off glasses) MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! 


	18. Contestant 17, Neji

Cat: Sorry, have not done any chapters in a while, I was at a convention last weekend and it's messed up my internal clock.

Johnny: Now actually do your job.

Cat: DON'T BE HATIN'!

Johnny: NO GANGSTA CAT!

Cat: Awwwww...

Johnny: Now before Cat tries to rap here Neji singing "Right Round"

Neji: I don't wanna know your name

Because you're plan's going to go up in flames

All I know is that to me

My life's one big angry melee

Yeah mission bringing me to harm

They shot spit through my left arm

I will fight all of you (and no one else will do)

And I (I, I, I), I fight hyuuga way

All I know is that to me

My life's one big angry melee

Yeah mission bringing me to harm

They shot spit through my left arm

You spin me right round, baby

Right round like a record, baby

Right round, round, round

You spin me right round, baby

Right round like a record, baby

Right round, round, round

I fight spinning around, chakra shield, baka

Fighting, hitting chakra points, baka

All I know is that to me

My life's one big angry melee

Yeah mission bringing me to harm

They shot spit through my left arm

You spin me right round, baby

Right round like a record, baby

Right round, round, round

You spin me right round, baby

Right round like a record, baby

Right round, round, round

Cat: Watching Naruto AMV's helps when writing these...

Johnny: Is this fic ever gonna end?

Cat: Eventually. 


	19. Contestant 18, Tayuya

Cat: Finally really cracking donw on the chapters! I will chose the finale soon!

Johnny: Like chickens you will.

Cat: SILENCE!

johnny: Before chickens come and beta me up for insulting him-

Cat: Here is Tayuya singing "For Whom the Bell Tolls"

Tayuya: Make us fight in the hills every single day constant chill deep inside

Shouting "Run you losers run!" through the endless grey on they fight for the right

Yes but who's to say

Why Orochi will kill why they do not know

Vicious wounds test their pride

Sound of five still alive through the raging glow gone insane from this pain that

They surely know

For whom the flute sounds

Time marchs on

For whom the flute sounds

Take a look to the sky just before you die, its the last time you will

Blackened roar, massive roar fills the crumbling sky, shattered goal fills the

Soul with a ruthless cry

Stranger now are his eyes to this mystery, hears the silence so loud

Crack of dawn, all is gone except the will to be.

Now they see what well be blinded eyes to see...

For whom the flute sounds

Time marches on

For whom the flute sounds

Johnny: Man, that's a short song.

Cat: Yeah... It sounds alot longer with the intro...

Johnny: Oh yeah Cat has a snog change to alert you about.

Cat: Gaara's song will be changed, though it will still appear in the same slot. 


	20. Contestant 19, Shikamaru

Johnny: Finally the final three songs get posted!

Cat: They've been finished and finally given order.

Johnny: So get on with it!

Cat: FINE! So here's Shikamaru singing "Walk this Way"

Shikamaru: How troublesome...

Backhand fighting, never satifying, those annoying villains, lying

Till I fought a sound nin' and she said

"You ain't seen nothin' till you're fighting a muffin

Then you're sure to be a-changin' your ways"

I'm a team leader, my friends aren't bleeders

Oh, the times I could reminisce

'cause the best things of lovin' with her sister and her cousin

only started with a little kiss

like this!

Annoying song singing' every boy in the school

And people act as though I give a care

They sing "Hey diddle diddle"

Killing with vicious swings down the middle

As if I care

So I took a big chance at the exam dance

A troublesoem game to play

Wasn't me they was foolin'

i had no idea what I was doin'

And I advanced, only

When they told me to

Cuz my shadow says walk this way, walk this way

walk this way, walk this way

Cuz my shadow says walk this way, walk this way

walk this way, walk this way

Just gimme a kiss

like this!

Annoying song singing' every boy in the school

And people act as though I give a care

They sing "Hey diddle diddle"

Killing with vicious swings down the middle

As if I care

So I took a big chance at the exam dance

A troublesoem game to play

Wasn't me they was foolin'

i had no idea what I was doin'

And I advanced, only

When they told me to

Cuz my shadow says walk this way, walk this way

walk this way, walk this way

Cuz my shadow says walk this way, walk this way

walk this way, walk this way

Just gimme a kiss

like this!

Cat: Next time prepare for the final two songs of the fic-

Johnny: Possibly... NEVER SEQUALED AGAIN.

Cat: Yeah, I have no ideas left for them... 


	21. Contestant 20, Kiba and Akamaru

Cat: Now unto the secode to last song.

Johnny: So as the series begins to close here is Kiba-

Cat: And Akamaru.

Johnny: -and Akamaru singing "Bow wow wow"

Kiba: Bow Wow..B-Bow Wow...B-B-Bow Wow...B-B-B-Bow Wow Wow

Bow Wow..B-Bow Wow...B-B-Bow Wow...BOW WOW WOW

Akamaru: YIP!

I bow wow wow yippy-o yippy-a to the funk

Punk

I put you in my trunk

Like a good fella, I'm a good speller

I hate the book "Old Yella"

Take it, I'll kick it, my dog'll lick it

Annoying like a booger, those ninja's outta shoot ya

Like Tina Turner, I'm a fast learner

Earning up my wealth, now I go for self

Like Barney Rubble, who's always in trouble

I'm quick on the double, you'll never see me fumble

Like a quaterback, think I outta smack

Wack MCs who think they're all of that

A Bow Wow Wow yippy-o yippy-a

Akamaru: YIP!

Kiba: A Bow Wow Wow yippy-o yippie-a

A Bow Wow Wow yippy-o yippie-a

A Bow Wow Wow yippy-o yippie-a

A Bow Wow Wow yippy-o yippie-a

This mission is a hassle, Fighting a loser with a lasso

Just a big hassle, like Eddie Haskle

Yet I'm not the reaper or Sigorny Weaver

I'll bust a stunt punk like Colt Seavers

Then do the polka, I'm iller then the Joker

I'm not mediocre, like almond mocca

I'm flavor, behavior is ill when I spill

You'll be doomed just like the eprson with the bill

'Cause I cause disasters like the Dukes of Hazard

I'll shatter you kid if you step punk custard

Zero, Weirdo, the Funk Superhero

Yeah you scare me, just like a scarecrow

A Bow Wow Wow yippy-o yippy-a

Akamaru: YIP!

Kiba: A Bow Wow Wow yippy-o yippie-a

A Bow Wow Wow yippy-o yippie-a

A Bow Wow Wow yippy-o yippie-a

A Bow Wow Wow yippy-o yippie-a

A Bow Wow Wow yippy-o yippie-a

Cat: And up next the finale of the series.

Johnny: AKA- Sasuke finally gets a song! 


	22. Contestant 21, Finale, Sasuke

Cat: Sasuke finally gets a song!!!

Johnny: As the final chapter of the "Idol" series comes to a close-

Cat: Sasuke finally gets a song.

Johnny: Okay before Cat is fully strangled, Sasuke singing "Can't Touch Me"

Cat: HIT IT EMO!

Sasuke: Shut up!

Hokage: Hey thats against the Law! Your Coming with me!

Sasuke: Nuh uh uh! Can't Touch This!

Can't Touch This!

Ju - Ju - Ju - Ju - Just like the badguy in Lethal Weapon 2,

I got Kunai in my pocket. So, Hokage, You shouldn't Sue.

I can write graffiti, even Jay Walk in the street.

I can kill some dude, not caring who, I'm very light on my feet.

Can't Touch This!

Sasuke: Can't Touch This!

Sakura: What in world is he doing?

Sasuke: Can't Touch This!

Naruto: I believe thats the worm.

Sasuke: Stop! Sasuke Time!

I'm a big shot! Theres no doubt!

I'm on fire, I breathe it out!

Don't like it? Kiss my rump!

You think you can beat me, Bring it on you lazy bum!

Can't touch this!

Yeah! Do the Uchiha Sasuke!

Can't touch this!

I'm hokage-style Sasuke!

Kunoichi's think i'm hot!

Don't care if your handycap,

I'll still park in your spot!

I've been around the world!

From Sunaga to Konoha!

It's Sasuke! Go Sasuke! I'm so Sasuke! Yo, Sasuke!

Let's see Neji rap this way!

Can't touch this!

Cat: The final chapter of the series comes to an end but you can choose the winner of the final idol!

Johnny: Vote in the next chapter and tell your friends about us! 


	23. Vote!

Cat: And now for the part you've all long awaited! Voting!

Johnny: Welcome to the voting process. Vote for:

-Naruto, "Pokemon Theme Remix"

-Ino, "Ninja Girl"

-Temari, "Miss Independant"

-Gaara, "Haha You're Dead"

-Kankurou, "Master of Puppets"

-Haku, "Time After Time"

-Chouji, "Food"

-Sakura, "I want you, Sasuke"

-Orochimaru, "Hair"

-Kabuto, "Cold Hearted Snake"

-Rocky, "When a Man loves a Woman"

-Gai-sensei, "I'm too Sexy for my Shirt"

-Kakashi, "Eye of the Sharingan"

-Hinata, "Dancing Queen"

-Jiraiya, "Ninja No. 9"

-Nine tailed Fox "Sad but True"

-Neji, "Right Round"

-Tayuya, "For Whom the Flute Sounds"

-Shikamaru, "My Shadow says Walk This Way"

-Kiba and Akamaru, "Bow wow wow"

-Sasuke, "Can't touch this"

Cat: Send a review saying who you think should win!

Johnny: Put the singer(s)'s name first then their song.

Cat: After 13 reviews we'll count the votes and announce the winner!

Johnny: Review quick!

Cat: This is the last "Idol" but be on the look for other parodies and such by me. 


	24. Results!

Cat: After a very long time we fnially have a winner: HINATA! Come on out!

Hinata: (beign dragged in by bodygaurds) B-b-but I don't wanna go on stage again... (Is glued to the floor in terror as she looks at the audiance again)

Johnny: Tell her what she's won!

Cat: You win EVERLASTING WHITE-OUT! (hands to)

Hinata: Oooo... (white-ing out the floor) YAY!

Cat: You also win a date with NARUTO!

Hinata: (looks up from white-ing out the floor) WHAT?! YAY! (tackles glomps Naruto)

(Wow I killed Hinata's personality)

Cat: You also win A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF PIE! (holds up an official "Buy Pie" card sponsered by the DEELISHUS Food company creator of "Orochimaru's Mind Control Chips")

Gaara: (runs up) MINE!!! (runs aways with the pie card)

Cat: Well, Gaara likes pie so he gets the "Buy Pie" card.

Johnny: Also you and three friends, enemies and random other people from the land of the ninjas get invitations to SURVIVOR: KONOHA.

Cat: The next series from vampiretrees, who is me.

Everyone: (gasps)

Cat: Yes, I am the true genious behind all this- MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

Johnny: (hits with a chair) Calm down. Have some chips. (hands pringles)

Cat: YAY!

Chouji: MINE!

Cat: GO HOME YOU LOST!

-----------------------------------------------

CREDITS:

Cat- Myself, for doing all the work.

Johnny- For wihtout her knowing or consent as appeared in three of these pathectic things

A.D.D.Hinata- For feedback on various songs- including physically running away when I sang her part of Hinata's (it won!) and for joining in with me on "Pokemon Remix" at various times during Math class.

Duziekat- For reading these and all future fics by me no matter how ghetto they have become

And for the other people who did absolutely- Yeah you know who you are. 


End file.
